Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Quick Hits - April 16th, 2010

Hi Movie Crew,

Movie Crew HQ has moved so that is why there haven't been any posts lately. As things return to normal here are some quick hits from the past couple of weeks.

Kick - Ass



Casey's Take: This movie Kick's Ass . . . nuff said. See it today!

Death At a Funeral



Casey's Take: Another Ricky Gervais movie re-made. However this one is re-made with black folk so that makes it instantly American.


The Joneses



Casey's Take: I have no idea what this movie is about but Demi Moore still looks great and David Duchovny isn't being abducted so it may be funny.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Trailer for Kuky se vracĂ­

It's some crazy Czech movie that will probably only come out on video, but still looks pretty rad.

Trailer for The Expendables

Cast of a dozen brutes make new shitty movie: http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1833632793/

In alpha order: Austin, Couture, Li, Lundgren, Roberts, Rourke, Schwarzenegger, Stallone, Statham, Willis. And that guy who plays Batista on Dexter. Where's Carl Weathers and Tiny Lister?

Friday, April 2, 2010

Trailer for Leaves of Grass, coming out this summer

Ed Norton rocks!

Opening April 2, 2010

Ooooh, can you hear that? It's the summer movie season starting to rumble.  This is one of my favorite parts of the year, when movies that don't want to compete with summer blockbusters get an early jump by releasing in April.  It's like the summer starts a month early.  Remember some spring surprises from the past?  The Matrix, Fast and Furious, Deep Impact (record scratching violently).  Ok maybe not Deep Impact but you get my drift.

Summer Movie season is comin up fast and the spring is starting to Warm up.  I'm excited for the new Clash of the Titans update.  Since I've been playing God of War III during every free moment, I've been steeping myself in Greek history to fanboy out like a M*****F*****.  Plus, it's nice to see Marcus Wright, Jake Sooollly, Perseus, um . . .Sam Worthington continue his streak of playing half-man, half-robot/avatar/god, characters so he looks like a better actor that he is.

Director:  Sam emote!
Sam: I'm trying but I can't go much further or I'll break character, that is the "non-human" side remember!
Director:  Right!  Perfect!  Scene!

Hahahahaha Nicholas Sparks still sucks.

Enjoy!  See you at the movies!


Clash of the Titans

Perseus, son of Zeus, embarks on a dangerous quest to save Andromeda



Casey's Take:  The original swords and sandals special effects extravaganza that was originally released the year I was born.  Anytime you hear me support a film with ridiculous special effects, thin plot, passable acting and copious cleavage you can blame this movie.  . . . AFTER you watch it.


Breaking Upwards

Two lovers decide to end their relationship in stages.



Casey's Take:  Going out on a limb here and stating this is a Emo version of "When Harry Met Sally".  Also if I were to break up with a lover in stages it would go like this.
1.Get really good at Golf and make $1bil
2.Learn how to Build Motorcycles
3.Stick it in anything that walks and possibly has a fetish for Nazi memorabilia
4.Win an Oscar
5. Declare I have a "Sex Addiction" and end the relationship
6.Profit


The Greatest

Grief-stricken parents meet a young woman who is pregnant with their late son's child.



Casey's Take:  Yo wouldn't it be awesome if Pierce Brosnan did a whole melodramatic movie and at the end he said "Bond. James Bond." and just left all the other characters in a crap situation.  Oh man that would be hilarious. Other than that this looks pretty good.


Don McKay

Everything seems a little off-kilter when a man returns to his hometown after 25 years.



Casey's Take:  So . . .you leave home, and come back after 25 years 'cause you obviously turned out to be a loser of some sort, and the super hot girl who was your sweetheart in High School totally wants you, let's you stay in her house and all you gotta do is kill somebody?  Seems like a sweet deal to me I don't see what the problem is.  Not like it's SAW or anything, it's just some small podunk town, ish like that happens all the time, sometimes you gotta roll with the punches.


The Warlords

Blood Brothers grapple with battle and betrayal.



Casey's Take: Dare I say it? Everybody looks a like they've done this type of thing waaaay too many times.  Although the whole thing looks like a dirty House of Golden Hero Dragons mashup.


Why Did I Get Married Too?

On vacation in the Bahamas four couples examine questions about love and fidelity.



Casey's Take:  I'll admit I saw the first movie of this series and enjoyed it, and this sequel seems to up the ante and melodrama.  Although if you aren't black and you go to this movie you better just talk along with everyone else.  The great thing a bout black cinema is that they actually structure the movie so that the audience can talk over it.  Seriously, there will be an unnaturally long pause after certain plot points are discussed; unnaturally long if you aren't black that is, cause if you are, you're letting the characters know what's up.

What are you seeing this weekend?

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Update! Nicholas Sparks is a Dick

While doing research for "The Last Song" . . . (what? You think this shit writes itself?)  I stumbled across proof positive evidence that Nicholas Sparks sucks and that the old adage holds true.  "If you can't do . . .write" OR my new updated quote, "If you write a movie starring Miley Cyrus AND you compare yourself to Aeschylus you should probably DIAF".

Thanks to Lainey Gossip for the write-up.

http://www.laineygossip.com/Nicholas_Sparks_Miley_Cyrus_interview_with_USA_Today__1apr10.aspx

Just look at this pic!  If your mind doesn't immediately scream "Douche" you need glasses.