Opening Friday September 24, 2010

Wall Street:  Money Never Sleeps

Gordon Gekko returns from years of exile to take back the streets of New York . . . . Gekko style.

Casey's Take:  Just like the Fast and the Furious, to men who obviously love each other, release sexual tension through silly games involving money, fast vehicles, and power while the supposed objects of their affections (who are only in the movie to assert their heterosexuality), watch helplessly as their men circle jerk themselves to failure.

Est. Projection - $30 million

The Virginity Hit

A Nerd documents his Nerd friend attempt to lose his virginity.

Casey's Take:  Now that the American Pie Generation is old, the YouTube generation gives a crack at defining how tough it is for kids to "do it" . . . and no one still cares.

Est. Projection $11 million

Legends of the Guardians:  The Owls of Ga Roole

Owls do some shit with magic and armor and talk . . .

Casey's Take:  Oh, the team from "Happy Feet" made this movie?  That's like saying the team from Cleveland made a movie.  No one cares.  However the movie does look amazing.

Est. Projection  $45 million

You may have noticed I put projections after Casey's Take.  This is my prediction of how much a movie will make it's first weekend.  Feel free to make your own predictions in the comments.

Opening Friday Sept. 17, 2010

Devil

A group of random strangers are targeted by the Devil since everything happens for a reason . . ..




Casey's Take:  Since this is from the mind of M Night "Holy Shit is he worse than everyone thought" Shamayalan (sp?) it's probably terrible, but you never know, it looks intriguing.  My money is on the black guy.  Also, did you know that weird looking Indian Guy is married to Christina Hendricks?!?

I'd guess I'd agree to be in a M Night production if I was distracted by these every morning.  

He's probably the dumbest man alive . . . .  I wouldn't get anything done around those . . . I hope they have a maid. . . 

Opening September 10, 2010

Resident Evil:  Afterlife 3D

Milla Jovovich returns as Alice (a character NOT in the games), to kill the zombie horde once and for all . . . .

Casey's Take:  If there is one thing that will make Milla Jovovich an actress who is taken seriously besides zombies, monsters, kung-fu, guns, bullets, swords, cool computers, boobies, matrix-style flips, many other bad actors, Chris Tucker, and her husband Luc Besson, is a third dimension . . . . .of terror.

Opened Wednesday September 1, 2010

The American

An American assassin retreats to rural Italy for one last job . . . .

Casey's Take:  Taking any excuse to stay in Italy and chase babes half his age, Clooney hooks up with an acclaimed director to appear as if he just doesn't dial it in anymore.  

Opening August 27, 2010

Hey Casey's Movie Crew members . . . quite a bit of crap comin in hot to end the summer movie season.  Um . . .I guess enjoy it?  I would take the next couple of weeks to catch up on stuff you missed.

Anyways. . . here's the crap before the Fall Movie Season Starts next week with George Clooney in "The American"

The Last Exorcism

A fake priest encounters a real life demon while performing an exorcism in this thrilling mockumentary.

Casey's Take:  Hopefully this IS the last exorcism movie to come out for awhile . . .jeez.  I want to see a 45-year old black man get exorcised at least once, cause outside of that, if you're not a 13-19 year old Catholic white female . . . this shit won't scare you. 

Aashayein

A Bollywood flick about this guy named Aashayein who apparently is AMAZING.

Casey's Take:  So Aashayein is Indiana Jones, Powder, Smallville and Vicki Cristina Barcelona all in one mess of a musical movie.  Fantastic!  To prove my point here are some of the other posters for this film

I rest my case.

Centurion

A roman legion is captured and the survivors are pursued on the way back to Rome.



Casey's Take:  Gladiator (2000) + Financial Meltdown (2008) = Centurion (2010)

Takers

A group of felons get together for one last job . . . . blah blah blah, . . .guns . . . blah, boobies. . . .blah drugs . . .blah . . rap music . . .blah blah . . .Paul Walker looking confused . . .blah twist . ..blah end.

Casey's Take:  Here are the real life felonies for the cast - 

T.I. - Weapons Dealing and Drug Possession

Hayden Christensen - Star Wars Episodes I, II, and III

Matt Dillon - Being "That Racist White Guy" in "Black" movies (see Armored, Crash, etc.)

Idris Elba - Not being Stringer Bell 100% of the time . . and cheating on Beyonce (Obsessed)

Zoe Saldana - Being waay to hot and talented to be in soo many terrible movies (Losers, Takers, etc.)

Steve Harris - Being the successful, semi-abusive, non-Jesus lovin husband in ALL Tyler Perry movies.

Paul Walker - Having a lead foot (Fast and Furious) and a lead brain to match

Chris Brown - Using Rhianna as a punching bag, and not making better music to make up for it.