Friday, March 19, 2010

Opening March 19, 2010



Wow!  Spring has Sprung, thanks to Daylight Savings Time, the movie industry has decided to cram more movies down our throats this weekend than Tiger Woods is able to cram 1 Woods down Joclyn James'  . . . .well throat I guess.  Can't really get around that reference can I?

Anyhoo's I've had a few beers, have a super looong day at work tomorrow and there are too many movies to post about so heeerre we go!


Vincere

The life of Mussolini's secret wife Ida Dasler, and their son.



Casey's Take:  Sorry for the trailer being in Italian, but like all movies about Italians, this movie seems to be about an angry husband and his wife yelling a lot about their kid and being waaaay too dramatic.  Plus a homely Italian guy being EXTRA dramatic.


Skiing Everest

High altitude skiers climb the slopes of Mount Everest without oxygen and take on the slopes.



Casey's Take:  White people bein' white people.  (Sorry for the Ski School poster, there was no Skiing Everest poster readily available.  However, I do love the Ski School poster from my early days trolling the comedy section of Blockbuster thinking skiing was the shit.)


Repo Men

Repo Men remove body organs from transplant patients who default on payments.


Casey's Take:  I consider this a really high-concept take on the dystopian future sci-fi genre, that appears to be thoroughly entertaining.  I feel like Heidi Montag will see this movie and fear for her life.  Also, she's the closest thing to a real life Frankenstein . . . a hot Frankenstein but still . . . .



Greenberg

A ne'er do well (Ben Stiller) finds his soul mate in his brother's assistant.


Casey's Take:  Seems like Gen-Xers will be complaining about crap well into their 50s . . . get over it guys we get it, you had no war . . jeez.


Season of the Witch

Two knights escort an accused witch to a remote abbey, where monks will perform a ritual in the hope of ending the pestilence that is ravaging the country.



Casey's Take:  Read the synopsis . . . . Yea, they now call this Rape.  Also Nicholas Cage rapes our eyes with yet another horrendous hairdo.


The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

A girl with a Dragon Tattoo is the center of a mystery that will blow your frickin mind intrigue you.


Casey's Take: If only Jesse James stayed away from Girls with Dragon Tattoos I wouldn't have to be guilted into watching the Blind Side.




A Matter of Size

A group of borderline obese Israelis embrace their outer fatness.


Casey's Take:  Looks funny and touching. . . . should be better than the other movie poster of the other "Matter of Size movie.



Exactly. . . .



IMAX Hubble 3D

Through the power of IMAX 3D . . .blah blah blah, Leo narrates some space shit.


Casey's Take: The movie looks fantastic but I can't see myself staying awake through this I just can't.



The Killing Jar

A killer traps some yokels in the Lucky Penny (a diner).


Casey's Take:  Pretty disturbing.  (Obviously not the Lucky Penny, but if you were to get held up in a diner in San Francisco, the Lucky Penny is probably where it would happen.  IHOP and Denny's are too obvious, Grubstake is too weird, and Sparky's sucks.  . . . yea I said it).



The Red Baron

The greatest German fighter pilot to ever live struggles with being better than everyone at flying and caring about WWI, the war his country started . . .


Casey's Take:  This might be the only movie for the next 500 years where you can root for the Germans during a war. Seriously, go see this film cause it won't happen again.



The Bounty Hunter

A Bounty Hunter gets to chase his ex-wife and attempt to bring her to the police.


Casey's Take:  If you can suffer through Gerard Butler's horrendous American accent long enough to check out Jennifer Aniston's legs you will still hate this movie.



Diary of a Wimpy Kid

The movie version of the popular books of the same name.


Casey's Take: Superbad 6 years earlier




The Runaways

The true story of the first underage all-female punk band that took the world by its balls and never let go



Casey's Take:  Kristin Stewart? Dakota Fanning? R-rated film?  I think you have to be under 18 to legally watch this film if you're a dude.


City Island

A touching tale of a family whose comfortable co-existence is upended by past secrets and present-day lies.


Casey's Take: See my take from Vincere above.  


Holyee crap go see some movies! !

1 comment:

  1. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was awesome. The book was thrilling, and movie doesn't disappoint. The (multiple) rapes are quite disturbing, so be prepared.

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